My mystery book _Forever 11:59_ is in print!

It’s available as a paperback and as an ebook.

Here is the prologue:

Forever 11:59
Prologue

The price of gasoline at the Shell station was $3.38 per gallon.
That’s as good as it’s going to get, I figured, and I signaled for a right hand turn into the filling station.  My Chevy truck turned to the right, just as I wanted it to, and my twenty-two foot home on wheels followed it.  I pulled up in front of one of the two gas pumps and cut the engine. Before I could even reach for the door handle, a voice said through my open window, “Fill her up, ma’am?”
The ‘ma’am’ didn’t sit too well with me. I’m twenty-nine years old, which is not old enough to be ma’amed!
“Yeah, thanks,” I told the young attendant.  He didn’t look like he was nineteen years old, soaking wet. “Both tanks.”
“Sure, thang, ma’am,” he said, “right away.”
I sighed at the second ma’am, but he had already turned his back to me.
I got out of the truck to stretch my legs. I had spent the night in  Missouri, and I left in the small hours before dawn. It had been a long drive. Thank goodness for coffee and thermoses.
So, this is Autumn, Kansas, population  950, I thought.  Oh, I’d heard about the place. I’d listened to Dad’s stories about his family as he was growing up. He didn’t actually grow up here, but my late grandfather did. There wasn’t much to look at, but maybe there was more to the town somewhere else. From where I was standing I could see a tiny post office, a small grocery store, and a sign on a storefront that read Jakes. It gave no clue as to the type of business. I saw one beauty shop.  Then there was the Shell station, which I could see had a series of shelves for movie rentals. There was a small brick building. I squinted hard at the small sign. It read ‘City Hall’.  There looked to be some empty storefronts along the street. That was it. There were no more stores in sight. There were no more businesses in sight. And there was no traffic in sight.  Here, you didn’t need to look both ways before crossing the street, because you could hear any vehicle moving from four blocks in either direction.
“Arkansas plates, huh?”
I turned at the sound of the young attendant’s voice.
“You new around here?” he asked.
“Uh huh.”
“What brings you to Autumn, ma’am?”
I stifled the urge to box his ears and start shouting epithets about my age. “I’m here visiting relatives,” I said, false sweetness dripping from my voice. I looked him straight in the eyes.  Then I gave him a whisper of a little smile. This is what we women call mild flirtation.
“Harummph,” cough, cough, cough. “Uh,….pretty nice weather we’re having…for April…aren’t we?” His blush started at the vee of his shirt and slowly rose.  My eyes held his eyes.
When his blush was about up to his eyebrows, I let him off the hook. “Gorgeous, just gorgeous,” I said.
He nodded and looked away.
I continued my survey of the town, at least the part I could see.  I’d see the other half later.
Standing on tiptoe, I looked down the street for Aunt Edna’s house, but I couldn’t see it. I knew it was on Main Street, and was therefore blocked from view by the other buildings.
I was in Autumn for Aunt Edna’s eightieth birthday celebration.  She’d invited me back in January. This was April, and I wasn’t about to miss it. She said she was inviting every relative that she had, and I’m sure most of the town would show up, too.
“Uh, harumpph, uh, ma’am?”
Not again, I thought.
“That…that’ll be $94.64.”
Mentally I shook my head.  Oh, Carter, give him another chance, I thought to myself.
Slowly I reached down to the front pocket of my jeans. Slowly I pulled my hand out, as I did, I lifted my chest. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.  Strike one, I thought.
Slowly, I peeled off five twenties. Then I got in the truck and slammed the door. I stuck my left hand out the window and tucked the twenties in his shirt pocket, then I pulled the flap of his pocket down and patted it flat.
He stared at me and his jaw fell open.   Strike two, I thought. Then with my index finger, I gently raised his jaw and put my finger to his lips.
“Uh—hm, uh, ma’am?” he stammered.
“Strike three,” I said.
I cranked the truck and put it in gear.  I pulled out and he hollered something.  I chuckled.  At least he had the grace to stop after ‘thank you’.

Most of the shows end their performances with a Patriotic song. But…there are only a few patriotic songs out there from which to choose. So, a couple years ago, after hearing one of those songs performed one time too often, I came out of a show and walked across a parking lot and thought, “Someone needs to write a new patriotic song”.

So, I did.

This process took a couple of years in the making, from writing the song, refining it, having my co-writers fine tune it, arranging it, figuring out the vocal styling/breathing, and then….recording it. So, yipee! As of this week, I have a track.

Now comes the marketing. So, I’ve been up half the night doing paperwork and getting a mailing ready to go out.

The song is called Stand Up for Lady Liberty.  It’s about hope and faith and trust and the foundation that this country was built on.

I have paperwork yet to do, so I’m not going to post the song online right now, but I plan to have it available for you soon.

As with anything I do, projects snowball at an amazing rate. But…if you have the work, then why not go all-in? Why not shoot a music video? I think it’d be great if another singer recorded the song, but that doesn’t preclude me from promoting the song with me as the lead singer.

Having achieved a certain age in a world where youth and looks are considered the most important thing in the music business, I had rather given up on me being a performing vocal artist. If I made it as a songwriter/publisher, then that’s fine. That’s enough. I still perform local shows and sing my own demos. That’s probably enough for me–right?

But, take a step back. With age comes wisdom. With age comes life lessons and experience. Those things don’t make the music less. They make the music become more. When you’ve lived through the highs and lows of life, your singing has so much more soul. Why must age be a factor in the music business–at least to the extent it is now?

So, as I was driving home from the recording session Wednesday night, an overwhelming calmness fell over my shoulders, and I had the feeling of “I am a recording artist”. I know I can sing.

Music business has been on the back burner for awhile, so it’s nice to move it to the front. I think I have two front burner things going, as the mystery book is sitting there awaiting my attention. The movie business is total back burner, but that’s okay…it’ll be there when I get there.

It’s been an intense week. Highs and lows, joy and heartbreak.

It seems like I’m either totally shut down (wintertime shut down mode) or totally moving 100mph down this crazy train track that is my creative life.

Last week, I submitted the mystery book for print publication. Yesterday, I held that book in my hand. Can you imagine the joy? How long has this book been waiting in the wings to see the light of day? How many publishers and agents have turned it down? This project has been years in the making.

So, to see that book and to hold it in my hands is a great joy in my life.

In the midst of joy, there is heartbreak. One of my dear friends died this past Saturday. I’m so sad that he’s gone, but my life is so much richer for him having been in it. The funeral was yesterday, Valentine’s Day, and it seems like in the past few years, I’ve lost so many people who are dear to my life.

But still, we move forward and keep moving on. Creativity is the be-all and end-all of my life. I may not be actually doing anything at every moment of my life, but my brain is always going.

Today I woke up at 2am. Insomnia is always a problem for me.

At 8am, I had the car loaded, and I headed out on damp roads and foggy skies to Oklahoma City for an appointment at the recording studio.

This is my second session at this new studio, and the engineer and I just clicked. You know how it is when you find a kindred spirit? This was like that. It takes a little while to find your groove, to find a way to communicate, to make it work. But the learning curve in this studio was nonexistent. It clicked immediately. We made good music.

We made good music.

I was BORN to do this with my life.

What words can describe what it is to create something so intangible as a piece of music? Mere words cannot describe what it is to have a piece of my soul captured onto recorded media for all time. Music is about letting out what you feel inside.

For regular readers of this blog, you know how many times I’ve complained of the difficulties of audio engineering. It’s not anything I’ve been able to accomplish on my own. But I’ve got to figure out how to do this myself. I can perform. I can sing and play and write and play the instruments. I can arrange and hire musicians (although today was solo work) and produce. So, to not be able to engineer a session myself has been a major hole in the process.

Finding this new studio, and finding someone who cares about music as I do, and who is willing to work with me ?!?!?!? (not always as easy task)….that is a great joy.

I’ve waited soooo long to be able to send music out into the world. Now…maybe now…that time is nigh.

I bid you happiness and fond wishes that all your dreams become reality.

The mystery manuscript is done! Who knew it would take that long? The book itself was written a few years ago. The last few months have been spent trying to edit and proof and work on the cover. I finally gave up on the graphic design and had someone else build the book cover (see earlier blog entry). And what I figured to be three weeks of editing turned out to be four months!

But yesterday, finally, the manuscript was complete. Immediately I started work on formatting. Each place to which you submit  requires a different format. I’ve done this enough now, to kind of have an idea of what I’m doing…but still…for each step of the process, you have to stop and figure and read and learn, and rework and resubmit. If there is a phrase “endless thinking” it applies here. You never get everything figured out.

So, today….after all this time, I just submitted the book to the print publisher. Now there is a turnaround time to see if it passes. There are soooo many mistakes that you can make, format, margins, content, crop, bleed, etc. Mostly I’m worried about the cover having enough dpi and data size to print accurately. Graphic design knowledge still eludes me. But, I’ve worked this as best I can, so there’s nothing to do but wait and see. If it passes, it passes. If not, I’ll revise and move forward and try it again.

So, yet one more time, dreams do come true. I wanted to be a writer in order to do this: write mystery novels. I created this female progatonist who is sassy and observant and has an inner dialog. I created the setup so that she lives in a travel trailer and goes to different locations, and therefore we can explore different locales in the books.

Here is the back blurb:

Forever 11:59 is the first book in an exciting new mystery series featuring the female protagonist Carter Thompson. Carter arrives in Autumn, Kansas to help her Great Aunt Edna celebrate her 80th birthday.

               Carter is a witty, sarcastic, observant woman, so as she is thrown into the melee of crazy,  gossipy small-town life, she finds herself reacting as a fish-out-of-water.

When a murder is committed and Carter finds that she can’t leave town, her powers of observation and curiosity kick in.

***

I won’t know what to do with myself. This has been my front burner project for sooo many months. In a way, the weight of the project has lifted off my shoulders. But the weight of everything else settles onto me again. There is sooo much work to do, so much to figure out, so much work to be done. I will never be satisfied. Even at those moments when I think of the things accomplished so far, all I can think of is the drive and ambition to move forward.

Are all creative people like this? How do things work in your creative life?

Wishing you peace.

So, at any rate, this mystery book has been sitting for weeks, but finally, today, I’m going thru the final edit. After that, it’s about formatting. Today’s work is creative…after that’s done, then the work shifts to being  more technical.

So, fingers crossed that the mystery will soon see the light of day. When I started this process back in the autumn, I had no idea it would take this long.

But….a dream is about to come true, as my first mystery is published. I’ve waited for years and years and years to be a part of the “mystery author” fraternity.

Wishing you peace and love…
Happy February 6!

No, I’m kidding. I enjoy emcee work, and I do a lot of volunteer work for the Chamber, so this was fun. I didn’t know if I’d get back to town from work with enough time to spare, but the timing all worked out. I love emcee work and entertaining an audience and would like to get into more voice work. But, as with many of my other obstacles, geography is the problem. Oh well…we’ll deal with geography another day.

It was difficult to emcee and take pics all at the same time, but I tried.

Float from lighted Christmas Parade

The parade was a great success, and we had a good turnout, despite the cold temps. Then it was off to the airport for our first wintertime fireworks show.

I cut a small video clip of fireworks, but can’t upload right now. Drat! Oh well..any experience playing with video/audio tech is valuable experience. One of my cameras has a setting called ‘fireworks’, and I haven’t had the opportunity to use that, but it worked very, very well. This level of technology amazes me.

It’s been an intense week. Radio airplay, finishing the editing of the manuscript. Lots of hours at the day job. Shopping. Christmas prep and cards. Keeping up with my tv shows. Construction next door, which causes a lot of commotion, some of which they started some days before 6 am. I finally got caught up on some emails yesterday, but it seems like my friendships have suffered. I had dinner with a friend Wednesday evening, and it was the first time I’d seen him in two months. The book took up that much time.

The day after I finished the manuscript (I’ve sent it to a writing buddy for evaluation), I was up in the middle of the night, and it was sooo amazing to not have to work on that book. I could just veg or watch tv or work on computer stuff and not have to slog through that manuscript.

Anyway, my life is about creativity, but you can’t live in that bubble 100% of the time.  It’s all about the balance and finding a medium path between the drudgery of life and the enchantment of creativity. This week was a good balance.

Some musicians count their first guitar, the first record they bought…etc. (I have no idea what those things are for me–There have always been guitars and records around).

Most of my list of firsts is all about the creativity. It’s about the accomplishments on the stair steps to success. First paid gig as a musician.

First time to be in a movie.

First time to act with an Oscar winning actor.

First time to complete a manuscript.

First time I was offered a publishing contract.

First quilt that I completed.

First motor that I built–(AND the first time you crank a motor that you built with your bare hands. Priceless!)

This ladder that is show bidness is about the steps that you take to the top. You sure as hell better enjoy it along the way. It’s fine to have focus and ambition and single-vision drive. But..it’s amazing to be able to share this journey. Life, and accomplishments are so much sweeter when the people who love you are more excited for you, than you are excited for yourself.

Because today….I had another first:  I heard myself on the radio for the first time. Our band, our music, our publishing, our songwriting was on the radio for the first time! Who would have thought it would have taken this long to accomplish? But still…some things in life are beyond awesome, and today was an awesome day!

Today we were played on the radio for the first time. It’s one step among many. I said to a work friend, “Now we have to figure out how to make this happen a million more times.”  He said, “That’s a good attitude to have.”

Goodness knows the music business isn’t easy to navigate (or nagivate….as it were).

My business partner, best friend, and bandmate, Don, said that we had to have a celebratory dinner to commemorate this milestone. We will pause, savor, enjoy. Then it’s back to drive and ambition and bulldozing our way. It’s about grabbing what you want with both hands and holding on tight.

So, it’s great to share these moments with friends and family. It’s great to take a moment to reflect.

Now…onward and upward. What is the next hill to climb? What is the next accomplishment? What is the next goal?

But, in some magical place between 2:30 and 6:00 pm yesterday, the creativity came back online. I’m _me_ again.

And what happens today?

I had submitted our band music to an independent radio station, who promotes independent musicians. I got ane email saying they were going to play our band’s music on Thursday!

This is a life-long dream come true! To hear myself on the radio. To hear _us_ on the radio.

Jamin8 Radio from the Austin market, will be playing our band’s music the Ballroom Bruisers. This will happen on Thursday. 4 of our tracks will be played, and the Jamin8 radio station streams–so the whole world can listen!!!

Thank you Jamin8 for promoting music and for making dreams come true.

In other news…early this morning I FINISHED the manuscript for _Forever 11:59_. I’ve been working on the editing for weeks and weeks. It’s taken much, much longer than I had anticipated. Now I send it to one of my writing buddies to see if it passes muster. If she approves it, then it goes.

AND….

We have had the first snow of the season. This is a pic off my porch.

Oklahoma snowfall

Have a fabulous day!

Go make all your dreams come true!!!

Peace.

A law of physics says that “For every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction”.

Does that same truth exist when living a creative life? For every moment of joy, is there a moment of pain? Without the pain and lows and downs, could we even know the difference? Does it take the pain of life, to make us appreciate the joy?

Think about when you have a head cold. Nothing really makes you appreciate good health like a raging head cold. That low point….makes the forthcoming highs even better.

I hate getting derailed. That’s what I call it when the creativity shuts down. If the creativity is a train, and most of the time it’s going down its tracks…then what happens when it isn’t functioning?

No one can function all the time. No one can operate balls-to-the-wall 100% flat-out for all their waking hours. My level of drive and ambition are daunting. I keep that hidden from the general world. People who know me only casually only see the pleasant side of me. I want to leave them with the impression, “Oh she’s fun to hang around with.”

But at my core…my life is all about “Making it.” That definition refers to success, to showbusiness, to personal accomplishment and achievement. I’ve been on this train since I was born. I didn’t choose it. I was born to it. Once I learned to talk, then that’s what I talked about. People ask me why I write or why I make music. The answer is: because I have to.

Because I can’t not do this.

I don’t have a choice. This…creativity….is as essential to me as oxygen.

So, how do we handle the shut-downs, the derailments?

I’ve been through a tough couple of weeks, and had to put the book process on hold. Finally…finally…yesterday I got back to proofing the book. When I first started this phase of editing, I figured it was three weeks worth of work, but wow….double that amount of time, and it’s still not ready. So…you keep moving forward. You keep having that drive, and working towards the goal. If the book is front burner…then the music and recording and ‘figuring out the cameras and video-ography’ will have to be back burner for awhile.

It’s a juggling act. I can handle the juggling act.

What drives me crazy is the down times–the times when the body or mind or soul says, “I’ve had enough!” Shut downs can take many forms. Sometimes there is a physical sickness; sometimes there is a psychological depression; sometimes you just want to run away from home. So, you handle those moments and give your body and soul what they  need–whether it consists of a break or chicken soup or putting on boots and driving a hot car down a long highway. You have to feed the soul…you have to maintain that mental balance.

You trust that you will find your footing again. You have to trust that the creativity will find its way. You have to trust that you will get through whatever obstacles life throws at you, and you keep on going.

You have to trust that you will find your way.

That’s a line from the song, “Feed Jake” written by songwriter  Danny “Bear” Mayo  and performed by the band Pirates of the Mississippi.

That line speaks to the truest level, of what music means to me. I am, first and foremost, born to make music. I love all creativity. I love my books and writing; my filmmaking and acting. But music is it for me.

I had an amazing experience today. I have had in works for a few weeks to try a new recording studio, and our first session was postponed, which was no problem. But I had a session scheduled for today. It’s been a tough week, and I won’t get into all that, but there are times when all you can do is survive–anything beyond that takes too much energy.

When you’ve had health problems, a common result is to compute things in terms of how much energy they will take. Nothing about living a creative life is easy. Sane people would not choose this life. But I can’t live any other way.

But then there are days like today. I was so far “off” I might as well have been on another continent. And I had a recording session set up. This was a new studio and audio engineer that I had not met, nor worked with before.

Sometimes in music…a synergy happens. Music becomes more than the sum of its parts. Thanks to a very talented and kind audio engineer, we built an amazing track of music today.

I am not competent at audio production and technology. Goodness knows I’ve tried to conquer it, but it’s just not my bailiwick. I’ll still work to learn and understand audio engineering. But, for this studio booking today, to go so well, it warms the heart.

So for today…something went right.  We made music. We made good music. In terms of how I measure my life….that’s it.

That’s everything.