Cinco de Mayo
Bienvenidos el Cinco de Mayo.
May 5 is a touchstone of sorts. And it’s one that I never seem to remember. One day, years and years ago, Mom and I were talking about our creative lives. She paints and designs and works in forms of visuals arts and fine arts.
One of us said, “I wonder where we’ll be in our careers a year from now?” When that statement was uttered…it was uttered on Cinco de Mayo.
So, we use May 5 as a checking-in point, a status, a touchstone. How much have we accomplished in the last year?
So, where do I stand? Well, for me, books are selling. Finally, finally, finally, after so many years of trying for creativity (acting, pitching music, etc), something has achieved a degree of success. During the last year, I worked two movies as an actor. I worked a couple of TV commercials as an actor, on one of which I was lucky enough to get to utilize my dance training. I have struggled with audio engineering for so long, but now I understand more by working with an engineer named Nik, at a private recording studio in Oklahoma City. I’ve learned soooo much from him. So, finally, after years of trying, I’m beginning to have recorded music be something I can hand to a person and say, “This is me!”
It’s funny that that is the hard part. I’ve been a musician my whole life and a songwriter my entire adult life, but not having good quality recordings of that music has been such a roadblock. Okay….roadblock is in the process of being knocked down.
So, yes, all in all, it’s been a good year in terms of accomplishments.
Is it enough? It’s never enough? When will this creative juggernaut be satisfied? There was a line on Mad Men the other day…something about, “Ambitious people are never satisfied.” I wish I could remember the quote exactly.
But more than all this, it’s about what’s underneath the surface. I have maybe 4 books in active stages. I have maybe 15 being worked on in my head. There are sooo many movies and screenplays and a stageplay in my head. What does it take to get them out? It takes something…effort, chutzpah, agony, to pull them out of a human. Then there is the postpartum phase, a depression. That is one of the most difficult things to survive about living this creative life.
There’s sooo much I want to do in terms of video production and music production. Sometimes you have to put things by the wayside and focus on other things–the important things in life that supersede creativity. The last few months have been like this.
We had tornadoes in my community about a week ago. When you’re down in the cellar, and the storm is whirling overhead, you wonder if you’ll come up and have a house? When we came up, all our neighborhood houses were standing. But many, many people in our community had damage, devastation and destruction. My heart aches for them and for what they’ve lost. As far as I know, no one was injured or killed. But the challenge of rebuilding lives seems daunting. One thing I love about Oklahoma…is that people show up to help. There is such a spirit of kindness, of giving. People showed up from hours away to help those in need. That’s why I love Oklahoma. That’s why I live here.
Today I plugged in my video camera to charge up. I don’t know the last time I plugged it in, nor used it. But, maybe today. Today, I picked up a guitar (love the intro to “House of the Rising Sun”. I need to look up who wrote that. But if you are reading it–thanks for such an amazing song.)
This weekend I worked on a book blog tour interview and met a very nice author. She will be kind enough to promote my latest book in the near future. I’ll post links here when it’s up.
So, there are always things going. I just submitted for an acting role. I wavered about doing so, not knowing if I’d have the energy to expend or not.
When you’ve had health problems, you tend to compute life in terms of how much energy things will take. I don’t know if that will ever change. But, there comes a point when you go, “Why the hell not submit?” Even though acting roles take a ton of energy, they feed something in you. You come home and sleep, sleep, sleep when they are done. But, it fills the creative wellspring about as well as anything.
Have a lovely week.