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So, we’re working on a video project. I need visual images of “destruction” and “devastation” (5 second snippets of video). Gee…I’d like to do something such as…film a car crash. But, in no way are we capable of setting up that stunt for filming. My partner said, “Well, you know, they are tearing down the old feed mill…”

I replied that it was too much to deal with.

But, then I drove by and saw these images. And I started making phone calls, trying to get permission to film it. I got permission. These are incredible images to use in our video. There is something about those exposed layers and hanging concrete. It truly captures the mood “devastation”.

So, for the video, I need things that are the opposite of “devastation”, as well. This is all pretty intense, and it’s my front burner project at the moment. I think I’ll refer to the video as: Project D, for now. I’m not sure how many blog updates I’ll make on the subject. I need to keep it rather vague, at least for awhile.

I composed a jazz piano musical score. I’ll probably try to record it in my own studio. We are working on plot, plans, characterizations, secondary characters, arcs, setting, etc. It takes a TON of work.

So, if blog posts are vague, or if I am not blogging about this much for the next few months…know that….behind the scenes, we are working this as ‘flat out’ committed as we can. It bring a whole new meaning to the phrase: Go for it!

We are going for it!  The brass ring.

Or, as Rick Simon would say, “The Whole Enchilada!” (Sidebar…I love the show Simon & Simon. That last office they had (very cool exterior shot) was in a building in the gaslight district in San Diego. That building is now a hotel. This is on my “wish list” of vacation spots. I want to stay in that hotel!)

Back to our project…

Part of me loves this: the “blank page” and you get to fill it all in. Make the decisions. Think it out. Make all the pieces fit together. This is creativity at the highest level.

So, that takes most of my free time for the past 3 weeks or so.

But, with those little “extra” snippets of energy, what do you do when you’re not working on the video project? Well for me…I (hopefully) finished a screenplay this week. I’ve only been working on it for…10 years. I think and think and think, and then when I’m done thinking, I type. So…the actual typing part…was not agonizing. So many of the past projects of the last couple of years were difficult to write. The sequencing and planning were soooo difficult. On this particular manuscript…it was a series of scenes, vignettes. So, the sequencing isn’t difficult at all. And there were fewer characters to coordinate. I didn’t “agonize” over this project. Does that mean it isn’t as good?

But, I think of those 10 years of “thinking” about this and I can’t say that I didn’t put the work in.  No…it’s not less. It’s just different. Is there any ‘one’ way to pull a manuscript out of a human? The ways and manners to execute that process are endless. There is no one way to write a screenplay. The methods of executing this-are endless.

If it works; if the story is good; if it has a beginning, a middle, an end; if the characters can connect to the audience; if it has an arc; if it pays off….

…yeah…it’s good.

I’m in my “let it gel” phase. I sent it to my writing buddy, for her opinion and evaluation. I’ll come back to it, in a period of time, with fresh eyes and see if it “got the point across”.


As usual, I feel like I “haven’t got any work done”, at all. There is so much to be done (Conquer the show business world!?!), and so little time in which to do it. But, then you step back and see how much has been accomplished….

It’s the same cycle, over and over again. I guess this is the definition of “drive”.

What would life be, without having to “manage” one’s energy? Finding that balance between real life, and day job, and creativity…it’s a continual process, and one that takes a lot of juggling.

I’ve said it before, but I cannot imagine what life would be, if the creativity paid for itself, and made enough money, where I didn’t have to have a day job? What would it be…to have the total freedom to manage your days as you saw fit? How much could I accomplish then? LOL

Or…would I finally let myself relax, and just enjoy? There has been precious little of that. I give myself “down time”, which is necessary for survival. Mostly, for down time, I watch sci-fi television. But that’s not the same as reaching out and finding something that makes you happy. To go out and seek enjoyment…I don’t know how to do that. Life is all about choices (that’s another manuscript, entirely).

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and ‘wish’ that I had attempted that impossible dream.

Oh…yeah…I’m attemtping it. And lots of these impossible dreams are coming true. [Yet…I have spent the last few months feeling like a failure because none of this has gone “large” enough.]

When you can “feel” that your life is on the right path, that’s when it’s easy go keep going. But, when it seems so far away from you…when you can’t ‘feel’ anything…that’s when it’s hard to even take one more step.


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